matricide, scooters, vacation and fall.

yeah so i didn't write for about a year. sorry self, sorry blog. sorry liam if you're reading this because i know how much you love my blog. i didn't write because i got lazy and lethargic and crap. i feel the days slipping by like fish or like one of those jelly things that are like tubes that you buy in joke shops. wet willies, i think they're called. yeah, i feel like the days are slipping by like wet willies through a child's fingers.

i have realised i have got into a bad habit of making inappropriate comments around people that i don't know well enough. most of which do, in fact, seem to be paedophile or child abuse based. i must stop assuming that i am in the company of people who appreciate my sophisticated sense of humour.

so, my blogly friend, what has happened in the time that has elapsed since our last meeting?

i had a birthday, bringing my year count to twenty. i don't know what this means really. now instead of saying i'm nineteen i just say i'm 20, when people ask. though i do feel a bit different. i feel a lot more confused about what i'm supposed to be and how i'm supposed to behave. reaching the big 2-0 has made my mind whirl. these past weeks have seen me evaluating how far i've come in this life of mine, and how far i have left to go. realising who is special to me, and who i can afford to let go of. thinking about people who i can't seem to let go of, despite my best efforts. freaking out about the big white future.

anyway, i made one decision. i have decided to make twenty my alcoholic year. i miss the alcoholism of my first year at cambridge. my motto, then, is, to quote my beloved mr. merritt, 'love, music, wine and revolution'. i think this is good. i think i will add 'drugs' in there too.

what else has happened?
i fell out with a friend.

i went to the beach for four days with my mother and had a hard time keeping myself from commiting dastardly matricide (possibly involving creosote, drawing pins and a large lifejacket). going to the beach was nice though in that i did a lot of reading. nothing, of course, that i am supposed to be reading, but things that i would never have time to read. so i read disgrace by coetzee (lovely). the secret history (overrated). and timbuktu by auster (beautiful, lovely lovely book). so two books about dogs and one about students.

i went to a festival but it rained all day so i left before the end and missed fionn regan, something for which i will never EVER forgive myself. laura marling was lovely, her voice is like butterflies.

i worked at a festival too, at the bar, which was fun. but that seems like ages ago. that was back when i was nineteen, get with the times.

don bought me a guitar, on which i have been practising with my 'teach yourself guitar book' that dad got me back in '98. i know that it was bought in '98 because it says, inside, 'For Florence Christmas 1998. All my love Dad xxxxxxxxxx'. i also have been playing tabs off the internet, so today i can play, very badly, 'sentimental heart' by She and Him. i also made up a song on two strings (my progress startles me). it's about a boy and it goes " hey actually you can't hear it. sorry.

on the subject of the male species, i was peer pressured (you know who you are) into kissing a strange boy on a certain afterskool based night on saturday. it wasn't enjoyable.

i'm tired now. i might update this tomorrow.