got a prayer in memphis

i'm feeling low, so much so that i looked up 'ways to comfort yourself' on google. came back with 'food'. so far i have tried drinking two glasses of water - this didn't help. then i had an Emergency Vitamin C!!!!!!!!- negligible effect save minor surge of energy (more energy with which to feel bad) then i tried doing a hair masque. my head's wrapped in clingfilm as i type. actually is having a minor comforting effect because it smells nice and my head is warm.

i feel like everything is a bit out of control at the moment. i'm scared.

having finished primo levi's wonderful the drowned and the saved i wanted to read something by someone i've not read before (saul bellow was top of my list) but when i got to looking at my bookshelf i couldn't face any voice but haruki's. i started reading dance dance dance on the bus today.

i would prefer a hug though. and a fire in a fireplace.