skulls, hell, cadbury's chocolate fingers

i had a nice day on tuesday. i met meera-kate the american at clapham junction station then we got on the train and went to brighton. the land that shot across the windows changed from grey to green as i interrogated meera on her two months in new york city (a place i miss with all my heart). she gave me a birthday postcard with a black and white photo of a washing line with four soft toys hanging on it to dry. it was sweet. in fact, now i look at it it reminds me of that time when i was about six and in a crazy cleaning phase and i put my snoopy doll in the washing machine and all of the stuffing came out of his neck and he had a floppy head from then on that used to give me nightmares. good memories. outside the train the fields started to be broken up by houses, first one, then a cluster, then a greying constellation. the ground started to slope gently toward sealevel. then we were in brighton station. we went to meet ella in one of the vegetarian cafes that i always end up visiting. it was nice to have us three all together again. after lunch we went a-walking about the lanes some more, having a peek in lots of the little shops. i decided that i wanted to buy myself a piece of jewellery to mark my 20th year. i came close to buying a thumb ring with a skull on it (like the hell's angels wear) but decided that a memento mori might not be the most positive thing to have as a reminder of reaching my third decade of life. after a bit of a search, i decided that i wouldn't go looking for the ring, it would find me (like frodo?). i find that the most beautiful things come to you when you stop looking for them. and they're all the more beautiful because they are unexpected. ew i'm getting sentimental.
we ate dinner back at ella's flat, after i had laboured over the stove for a good 35 minutes trying to separate each individual strand of a bastard great clump of corn spaghetti (that i had insisted we buy) that refused to cooperate with me. i met oscar the ginger kitten, who is a beautiful little creature who has the unique skill of being able to fall asleep in almost any position. in the evening we went to a club. me and meera had a nice drunken chat on the way (oh, how i've missed them) in which i moaned about my ridiculous love life (which should be put in inverted commas, but i can't bring myself to). meera was hobbling all the way like an old woman because her shoes, which i had told her not to wear, were hurting. as i supported her on my arm i reminded her several times that flo is always right.
so we went dancing which was ok but the music was quite bad. i get annoyed when djs show no initiative and just clearly play the same shit day in day out. when we left me and meera, being a couple of fat fats, shared a pizza from a takeaway place. i found myself making accidental (or was it?) seductive eye contact with one of the pizza guys as he swept the floor. one thing led to another and we ended up having sex behind the freezer.*
me and m got back to london yesterday. i got home to the same mountain of paperwork that i had left. BOOOO i had hoped that it would have somehow spontaneously combusted. and today i planned on doing it but i ended up, instead, spending £70 on books for next year on amazon (including one of all of gustav dore's illustrations of the divine comedy, which i think are wonderful) and then spending the rest of the day either on facebook or eating, or doing both simultaneously. what i ate today:

breakfast: 1 bowl porridge (healthy start), half a nan bread (oh), curry (oh dear.).
lunch: slab of chocolate, chocolate fingers, garibaldi biscuits, tangerine (guilt fruit), cadbury's animals, bread.
dinner: self-loathing. yum yum.

after my foodathon i did a workout dvd. then i freaked out about the fact that my life is a mess and decided that my New Life would begin with the artful rearrangement of the things in my bedroom. i then spent several hours moving the things. my bedroom looks marginally better now. i stuck a couple of photos of new york on the walls.

so now i am sitting in bed with laptop, listening to the incessant ticking of the President alarm clock that i bought at a charity shop because i thought it was pretty, but which reminds me why i never have a proper clock in my bedroom. the passing seconds sound like hell. damn clock. goodnight blog. sleep tight, or sleep at least.









*not true.