i apologise for my last post, it was a bit sweary. but i felt quite ill. it turned out i went out that night anyway at the insistence of katrina and simon, and after a few vodkas my malady didn't affect me so much. haha. i had a good night. so the moral of the story is: vodka cures all. anyway hi blog. i did my first bit of proper work today for this term. i sent it off an hour ago. it's strange when you're writing an essay and all you can think about is how you do not want to be writing it. then, when you've finished, you feel a bit empty inside. every ending a little death. or or is that just me? i wrote about bacchae, and libation bearers. i have not enjoyed a play so much as bacchae in a long time. i thought it was absolutely terrifying, awe-inspiring. oh gosh i am finding writing you is difficult today, blog. i have done a lot of writing today so my mind feels all furry and my eyes are not focusing very well on the screen. but i wanted to write. i went to a lecture today given by my beloved Silver Fox. i felt very virtuous sitting there with my little notepad and pen at 10am. what a delightful novelty! ha.
yesterday i saw a midsummer night's dream in king's chapel with kiran. i couldn't hear or, indeed, see most of it but i was quite tired and i liked just sitting there and catching the odd flash of the play. some of the acting was very good, some was really quite bad. but it was nice, and the chapel is so beautiful, especially the organ with the golden angels perched on top of it.
cambridge is under a carpet of golden leaves at the moment. fallen leaves, i think, are at once beautiful, and terrible reminders of mortality. i don't like the way they smell. also i saw a grey swan yesterday that had lost most of the feathers of one of its wings. i thought it was sad, but it just paddled on.

anyway blog i have little else to say, for now. oh, except that i have fallen in love with Muriel Spark. i spent my entire Saturday, when i was feeling not too good from the night before, curled up with a duvet in a chair in my room reading Memento Mori. i am only reading a little bit each day because i don't want it to end. and usually i just want books to end.



# and

i feel like i'm floating in white space
at the moment.

i don't know if i like it or not.