firstly, i'm wearing a jumper with dancing santas on. WHO STOLE SUMMER? please return it. very strange moving from the very sunny if not too sunny climes of new york city to this grey shit.
and secondly, HEllo Blog, i'm back! i returned from the states on tuesday, having had to fly via dusseldorf. the aeroplane was boiling hot and i was sitting next to an overweight teenager with body odour problems. i tried to watch the inflight entertainment but was unnerved and distracted by the woman seated in the aisle opposite me who insisted on eyeing me intently throughout the flight. the second flight from duss to stansted was very nice though - i've never been on such a small plane before, and because the flight was just an hour we got little snacks instead of a meal, and i like snacks. so then i got home and it was all very strange. my house seems to be even more claustrophobic than before, seeming to have accumulated a hell of a lot more stuff - there are clothes and bags and mugs and magazines and towels and small animals absolutely everywhere and i don't understand where they came from. i have not yet gone mad because i feel a bit spaced out, it must be the jetlag. this jetlag is numbing slash delaying the approach of the great Fear that i am sure is about to hit me when i realise that i am a graduate and i have to get a job and what the fuck am i going to do. so thankyou, jetlag. i have spent the past couple of days, then, in a bit of a haze, lurching from kitchen to sofa to bedroom like a drunken bee in winter. my bedroom, though, i have rearranged, which is what i always do in moments of crisis. somehow moving objects around to create new spaces gives me a momentary sense of control. i think my room looks very nice now, the best yet. i put a map of ancient rome on the wall. my fervour earned me some pulled back muscles, though, sadly, because i moved my double bed across the room on my own, being an impatient fool.
this house is full of moths. my mum is on a mission to kill each and every one of them but i don't really have the energy to do it. also i think they're quite cute and don't really like killing things. except mosquitoes. this evening i went into the kitchen, having heard a noise, and saw a red admiral butterfly dancing under the ceiling light. i've never seen a butterfly at night before - it was quite special. writing this makes me realise that my fear of insects seems to have lessened over the course of the past few months. over the course of my holiday, in fact, i bravely dealt with both a millipede And a cockroach. next step: molluscs. ok blog the word 'molluscs' has just alerted me to the fact that this is a terrible, pointless, flavourless, ugly and cumbersome post; i both realise and apologise. but i'm tired and can't sleep, partly because i have toothache (damn you, wisdom teeth!) and partly because i am very excited about getting my holiday photographs back. i deposited eight disposable cameras at the chemist's on tuesday, and by my estimation that makes around two hundred photographs. i really can't wait. well, i can.
other things. my dad has moved to spain, which is strange. but i am possibly going to visit him in a week.
i really miss american food. what i wouldn't do for a slab of marinated tofu or a nice, shiny bagel with a soft centre and chewy yet strangely crispy outside now.
ok i'm going mad. i will try to sleep, particularly because i plan on heading to the south bank early tomorrow morning (o beloved spot!)
good night.