cold kisses

i've spent the last ten minutes or scratching paint off the desk in my bedroom with my fingernail. stress outlet. someone in my family had a serious disappointment today, it rankles. empathy or sympathy or something similarly sore. i'm listening to 'trouble in mind' by erland and the carnival, slightly addicted to it. also if you like mumford and sons does that make you a cunt.

got back from spain on saturday. my dad's house is absolutely beautiful. tiley and dusty and with that lovely damp chill you get in places with really thick walls. the four days i spent there were a haze of cold mornings and red wine and evening sunsets and blissful contentment. very little worrying done by me. just anticipation. just lovely. i finished reading doctor bloodmoney out there too. really weird but kinda hopeful. i adore philip k dick, such a brilliant, queer mind.

the moon was so big in spain! i miss it already. it's weird having a family in another country.

so i'm currently on edge. in a period of waiting. for something, or someone. i'm not sure about that yet. or what yet. but until then, i'm sitting tight!

[with this song dancing on my tongue (get it?)]