'All right,' I said. 'I kicked my father. I... cursed my mother... I stole money from my mother's purse. I spent it on candy bars. I let the air out of Chuck's football. I looked up a little girl's dress. I kicked my mother. I ate some of my own snot. That's about all. Except today I baptized a dog.'
   'You baptized a dog?'
I was finished. A Mortal Sin. No use going on.

 - Bukowski, Ham on Rye